I have been thinking about love lately.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’ve never really thought about love before.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So, I guess I never knew about it.<\/p>\n
I used to think that love is something that comes from romantic love and that it is only possible when I receive kindness from the other person.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I realized that the best way for me to grow as a human being and enjoy life was to learn to love without compensation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m starting to know that it’s only recently.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s not just about romance to love.<\/p>\n
My purpose until the day I die is to give love back to all the plants, animals, and the earth that surround me and continue to give me love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
However, it might be an easier way to learn love through romantic relationships, family, and friends. I think that I can learn a lot about this through my close people, family, and love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In order to understand love in a simple way, I began to review my past experiences in love.<\/p>\n
The thing is…<\/p>\n
If I was truly in love with my partner, why did I stop enjoying the relationship and let it cool down?<\/p>\n
If I really had a love for a person, I wondered why the relationship became less enjoyable and cooled down, or why I broke up with them or lost interest in them.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What was there was not really love, but only selfishness and ego.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Sometimes,<\/p>\n
I couldn’t be with them because I got bored with my physical relationship with the other person.<\/p>\n
And, the other person did something I didn’t like.<\/p>\n
And, I disliked the other person because of a change in my environment.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It was all from my ego.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In the end, I thought that I didn’t care about the good or bad parts of the other person at all, only cared about me.<\/p>\n
I had stayed with the women I had been with because I had feelings of love for them,<\/p>\n
But I was convinced that it was a very immature love.<\/p>\n
Perhaps a better way to describe it would be that I was only interested in myself to love them.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I was afraid that I would become a victim of betrayal.<\/p>\n
I was afraid that if they didn’t love me back, I wouldn’t feel safe and I would feel like I had no value.<\/p>\n
I would even think that there was no point in living.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Let’s stop living a life of just being thirsty for love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Let’s make it a life where we can love others.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It requires courage to make the decision to love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For me, the decision was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
However, I’ve been feeling refreshed and everything has become more enjoyable again now.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I bought a cactus and started to grow it in order to understand to love. I called her “Angels”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I feel anxious or afraid,<\/p>\n
It’s because we want something in return.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The solution is to give something back to yourself.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For me, the best way to give back to me is through my own growth. Such as, I give back through a workout, reading, language study, guitar, fashion, and all the other things I love and enjoy growing up with.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There is a power in this that cancels out the feeling of begging someone to do something for me and thirsty.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Respect the things that you have a lot of good stuff.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m going to live my life to the fullest today, respecting myself for having so much, and looking forward to cultivating a little by little love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Zen Jin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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