Summer lifts our spirits and You will probably have more events with other people who are families, friends and a girlfriend. The days are getting hotter, so it might be nice to chill out with your girlfriends at home under the air conditioner.

But you can’t do that without a girlfriend.

I am a Japanese man, I have had a hard time meeting women since I started living in the U.S. There was a time when I used “Dating Apps” to find a woman.

For writing this article because,

• Someone who lives overseas and has a hard time meeting a new friend and a girlfriend.
• Someone who is thinking of meeting someone on a matching app or dating site.
• Someone who wants to know about the situation of dating apps in the U.S.

This article is for such men. I think it will be a useful article for women as well, as a Japanese man living in the U.S. will talk about how he used dating apps.

I thought that the first obstacle to dating a local girl overseas is the language, but in fact it was not.

I was able to have a relationship with an American even though I did not speak English well, so language is not that too important to make friends. (I was so bad at English that even my friends used to tell me how I was able to keep a relationship with my ex girlfriend at the time.)

But that was only in the beginning. Of course, it is better to be able to speak and understand. If you want to have a deep conversation with all your relationships and know about the other person, language acquisition is a must. However, if you think you can’t talk to girls because you don’t speak the local language, then I recommend that you have the confidence and courage to talk to them even if you don’t speak native languages. After that, it is up to you.

Back to my point.

What is more problematic than language is the lack of places to meet people.

I’m talking about the situation in the United States, but since I live in a car-oriented society (It is California), I don’t use public transportation such as metro trains and buses very often. I miss those days when I was used to Ikebukuro’s West Gate Exit.

That’s where “Dating apps” came in.

At first, I was reluctant to use them, but the reason why I decided to use them is because, as I mentioned at the beginning of this article, there are few places to meet people.

In my opinion, Japan’s public transportation system makes people meet! If you take the highway bus, the Yamanote Line, Shinjuku Station, Ikebukuro Station, etc., you are sure to meet someone, and there are always lots of people. However, if you always go everywhere by car, the probability of meeting someone decreases significantly. The same goes for the other person, so your chances of meeting someone are also decreasing in the U.S.

That’s why I had using dating and matching apps to somehow increase my chances of meeting people.

I had using these app such as:

Match, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Tan Tan (Chinese app), and Coffee Meets Bagel.

First, let me give you a quick overview of my experiences and impressions of Tinder and Bumble.

Tinder was easier to get a date with. Tinder matches a lot of people, but there are a lot of fake accounts, so they are reluctant to exchange phone numbers or tell you their real numbers. lol

Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge matched me but never led to a date. I guess I’m too bad at texting. lol

Tan Tan matched me with like 1,000 people. The number is unusual for men I guess, but there are a lot of fake accounts. However, you can meet more people than Tinder. I’ve even met someone on a date with a match, so I think it’s the best way to meet people with Tan Tan even in the U.S.

Hinge and Match were the last two I used and were recommended by friends. I tried Match for the first time (I had always used the free app but that time, I did subscription) and only tried to meet people for 3 months, but the results were disappointing. I lost money and time with no dating at all. I was also introduced to Hinge because I heard that a friend of a friend was using it in the U.S. and was able to meet people. But for me, it didn’t work. I quit in a very short time. After, I heard that my friend broke up with her friend months later, so I see that the Hinge is designed to be deleted anyway.

You can chat and meet people on any app, but it can be easy to go on a casual date with someone on online apps. However, it was only on Tinder and Tan Tan that I was able to go on dates with people but they who were not looking for serious encounters.

I would like to mention that this is a personal experience and result of a Japanese person using dating apps in the U.S., so it does not apply to everyone.

People who can communicate well via email or text may be able to make more use of them.

But,

I personally don’t recommend using Dating apps.

It is because it takes a huge amount of time.

All dating apps are designed to take time. There is no easy “Having a real chill in a bed” with your new lover and be happy right away. It’s a long road after matching.

Just swiping through the apps, it can take up to 15 minutes to fix your photo, your personal statement, etc. Anyway, before you know it, time has passed. It usually took me an hour or two when I was using two apps. I also started to wonder why I was spending so much time chatting with so many women and rarely going on a date with any of them.

Even though I finally went on a date after chatting with a woman for about two weeks, I felt like I was wasting my time even if I did meet her. This is not because of them. I felt bad about the person I was chatting with, because I realized that I was not excited about meeting someone on an app.

My most memorable experience is that after matching with a girl I liked in her picture, I chatted with her for about a week or two and asked her out to dinner at a restaurant. The first time I met this girl, for some reason she came to see me dressed in black fallen angel wings, which shocked me. And I left after five minutes of conversation. I felt sorry for her, but her makeup was like heavy metal, so it was too much for me. Instead of being excited, I was rather scared.

Of course, at first I would get excited if I matched with a girl whose picture was my type and she was cute, but most of the time I was disappointed when I went on a date with girls. (I’m sure it’s the same for both of us because pictures can’t see everything) Still, sometimes I did have fun if I found something interesting to talk about or if I could empathize with someone. So I have no regrets about using it at all.

I have learned something from every encounter.

But with dating apps,

My biggest regret is that I neglect myself because of it.

Wouldn’t it be quicker to polish myself up than to swipe?

So, as a result, I deleted them all off and felt much better.

As with other apps, fiddling with your phone leaves less time for self-discipline.

You have a better chance of meeting someone if you go to the gym for two hours (It will be with testosterone on your side). Or, well, you can take the stance that you don’t have to meet anyone separately. If you start reading instead of swiping, you can learn to love yourself first without forcing yourself to conform to society or be loved by someone else, just as knowledge cloaks you.

The more you convert to that time, the more attractive you will become and the more people you will attract.

In fact, every woman I came to the U.S. (even after I was born) to date was not from an app (online), but from my daily life. It could be the waitress at a restaurant when I went out to eat, or the girl I met at Disneyland, or the clerk at a clothing store, or the girl I approached while shopping mall.

I am glad that I used a dating app because I realized that I am much more likely to meet people when I am doing something that I like.

I think that information from the fifth sense is very important when meeting people. I like to trust my intuition.

If you are lucky enough to meet such a person who you can enjoy all with through a dating app or online, you are a very lucky person.

Every encounter is important.

I believe that self-discipline is the key to meeting the woman of your dreams.

In summary:

• International people can meet girls when they use “Dating Apps” in the US. If you use Tinder or Tan Tan, you have a higher chance of getting a date. If you are going to spend a lot of money on an app, you might as well go to another language class or something like that, where you can learn and meet new people. (Language classes are not about making a girlfriend, but I mean that you can meet new people.)
• Dating apps are a quick way to meet people, but they waste a lot of time before you get into a relationship (like mostly, swiping. this is a pain) You can learn a lot by exchanging messages and going on dates with a variety of people.
• Personally, I don’t recommend it, but if you’ve never done it before, it’s a good experience. The reason I don’t recommend it is that it takes an enormous amount of time, which reduces the time for self-discipline. (I find it more meaningful to spend time on reading, muscle training, work, hobbies, etc.)

If you really want to socialize with people then, I truly recommend having “self-knowledge” “self-confidence first.”

If you don’t face yourself first, you will spend a lot of time swiping on dating apps without knowing what kind of girl you really want to be with. Also, if you don’t get to know the person after matching, the relationship won’t work out in the end. Therefore, it is important to know yourself first through self-discipline.

It is better to have any experience than not to have any experience at all.

Experience it for yourself.

It is important to experience things for yourself, and to know that this way of doing things is right for you.

By all means, I hope this article will be helpful to those who are struggling to meet people after moving abroad.

Thank you for reading.

ZenJin