【Relationships】 Culture Shock! Japanese men turned to be a cold, why?
A Japanese man who becomes cold when you get close to him.
Is there such a man around you?
or in the relationships with him?
Men and women have completely different ways of thinking.
To be honest, there are many times when we don’t understand each others.
Today, I am a Japanese man who can explain why they turned to be cold, like a ice.
I would like to talk about what Japanese men’s thinking when they get cold and become distant with you.
For women whom having troubles such as:
- I don’t know how he feels even though we have been together for a long time.
- I feel like he has been cold to me lately.
- I want to know the characteristics of men and enjoy my love life more.
I would like to write this article for women who are thinking like,.
“I want to know the characteristics of Japanese men so that you can make better your love life with him more.
A man who becomes cold and make distant when you get close to him is;
A man with low self-esteem and no self-confidence.
“What? I think the reason he is cold to me is because he doesn’t like me anymore.”
Many women may think that way, but in fact, it may not be so.
The timing of the coldness has a completely different meaning, and I would like to explain that.
So I will tell you honestly from man’s side what goes through a man’s mind as to why he becomes cold.
First of all, when you first meet someone.
During the initial period when they don’t know their partner well, they treat women in an abnormally gentle manner, maybe you know.
The level of abnormality varies depending a person, but they always do and say things they would not normally do or say.
This is true for all kinds of men.
A man who is not already gentle from the beginning is either already not interested in you or a virgin who has never been in love and sex.
Men are basically very timid about being disliked, so they will pretend to be someone they are not. It is very rare for a man to be true to himself on the first date.
This period of time depends on the person, but it usually lasts until after the first two times (physical relationship, like sex).
Some men may fake their true character for a month or so.
After about two or three times of having sex with you, they will reveal their true nature to you.
In this way, you are surely getting closer than before, but then some people suddenly become cold in their attitude.
The reasons for this are twofold. Men are very simple.
- He thinks you are not compatible.
- They are a little more open to a relationship with you.
Either way.
Here are some signs that he thinks you are not compatible:
- No kissing during the third date (there used to be as first and seconds) He no longer asks you having sex (does not want you).
- He is overtly insecure in his behavior. He is not angry, but rather, he is not interested in you.
- He stopped treating you at dinner or anything.
- He tries to get you to leave immediately after finished sex with you at the second time, smokes cigarettes, etc.
These are bad signs.
In this case, he just wanted to have sex with you that is it.
It would be wise to calm down and distance yourself from him immediately.
Or there are no such signs, and if the different cold sign he has like these:
- Conversation is less than before. (He is just quieter than he was on our first date)
- Fewer expressions of affection (I like you, you’re so pretty, and other emotional expressions)
- When you are together (in the same room or space), he is concentrating on other things (work, reading, playing games, etc.).
- He plays with his friends all the time and does not make time for you.
This is like, He has no obvious signs that he doesn’t like you, and you may think,
“Oh, he seems colder than before. He used to be more lovey-dovey,”
He is now at the stage where you are thinking which means that he has become a little more relaxed and open to you.
Men tend to express less emotion when they start to trust women.
Even though conversational communication is very important for women, we men tend to think that we are developing more of a relationship without talking or expressing our feelings.
As we men think that “there’s no need to flatter someone who is already mine.”
However, it is best not to worry too much in such cases.
Men are just simple.
When he’s focused on his favorite game, he’ll concentrate on enjoying the game rather than being nice to you and won’t think about anything else.
He may not be able to afford you just because he doesn’t have time to spare at work, and he may be cold towards you.
It’s not uncommon for them to be so preoccupied with tomorrow’s presentation that they didn’t listen to what you had to say.
The reasons for this “sudden cold attitude” are:
Many men don’t place romance as a priority in their lives.
Especially if he’s had two physical relationships, he’s already comfortable with you, so he’ll just start working on his original interests and problems while being with them. (This is a good thing.)
Don’t expect consistency in a man’s affections.
There is always a period (after the first three months or so) where it goes up once and then settles down (a month or two later).
A man who keeps saying ‘I love you, I love you’ all the time is scared and weird.
So it’s not that they don’t express their feelings to you and leave you alone because they have problems with you.
They have problems themselves.
They are into something.
Or when they are struggling with their work, it’s okay to leave them alone.
Even if something is wrong, you might say,
“What’s wrong?”
“Tell me what’s going on!”
Probably, not to say things like that is better.
Very different as a woman, a man doesn’t want to be listened to about their problems, most of the time.
Leave him alone.
Focus on what you want to do, not your boyfriends or husbands.
They will solve the problem themselves and return to you in due time.
But If he wants to talk to you from his side about his problems, please listen to him.
Then, why?
- Why doesn’t he want to talk about his problems?
- Why does he suddenly distance himself from you when you get close?
The reason is the cowardice I mentioned at the beginning.
He is just not ready to show himself exactly and still wants to show you to be a strong man to you, does not want to show his weakness, and does not want you to know his true self (weakness).
He is afraid that as he gets closer to you, his true nature will be revealed and you will hate him. Other than that, he is afraid to be serious or afraid to get hurt, etc.
He lacks confidence in himself.
In other words, he still has only the mentality of a child.
But if you can help him understand himself, he will grow up.
Please help him to raise his self-esteem a little by little as with a big big heart.
Instead of worrying about his behavior, just be there for him and support him in what he is doing.
The mindset that the female side needs to have here is that independent by herself.
The female side needs to have an attitude of “I am happy without you.”
You need to have a high self-esteem so that you can be happy even if he is not around.
She should not mind if he does not contact her back or if he does not tell her that he loves her.
This kind of self-reliance will also attract the man for sure.
And his cold attitude will clear up in time, and he will be affectionate towards you again.
They do not pay attention to what they have once they think they have it.
There is no doubt about this, but if you are always on his side, he will surely love you gently again, as if the ice has melted.
So, Men are simple.
It not necessary to think too much.
I know You have faith that you and him will work things out.
If you believe in your relationship, you will not mind if he becomes cold towards you.
You can’t actually change his mind, and it is important to be strong in spirit so that you can be yourself if something happens.
By being strong on your own and not being distracted by love, you will be strong and of the same mind so that he will follow you.
Love is not easy, but it is the most important thing in life.
It is the best way to grow with each other.
I hope you find this article helpful.
Thank you for reading.
ZenJin