I’ve been feeling a little anxious since yesterday.

I guess it could be say I’m depressed.

I feel unsettled, thinking that I might have misled my dear friends by talking too much about myself at the party.

When it comes to telling people how I feel.

It doesn’t always go well.

I often end up doing or saying unnecessary things.

I think I often regret that I didn’t say something later for in relationships, the boss, coworkers, friends, and family.

For example.

If you like someone, you should honestly say, “I like you. Please go out with me.” I think most women would say that this is straightforward and nice.

However, the reality is that

if you tell a guy straight out, it’s a bit creepy, and there are many cases where men are rejected because of that wrong information.

a man who I know said that it works better if you have sex first and don’t tell her how you feel.

He said, “I like you. Please go out with me.” is suck.

prefer to say,

“Just come to my house and let’s watch Netflix.” is better to achieve a sex.” that’s the key to success.

I think so too.

In fact, I did. it can have a much better chance of having sex that way. Sometimes the relationship going okay, but I think some cases also cools down quickly with lover.

However.

When it comes to mature relationships…

This sounds may misunderstand for young generation when I say that.

If it’s a case of a good friend to a lover for example, the desire to have sex is always there but sometimes very very low of the motivation, because of she is a friend so feel a bit awkward to have sex with her. But in the case of a woman who is not sexually motivated, there are maybe think this way that she is comfortable and chill with me and wants to spend more time without sex.

These cases are called,

I feel that the reason why I am attracted to a woman who is not that sexually motivated is because something has changed in me.

I’ve never had this kind of experience before (the usual pattern is that sex comes first, and the decision to go out with someone comes later).

So, I usually fell in love with people for their sexual needs. That’s what I mean.

If a person’s appearance or style is to my type, then I will be sexually aroused and want to have a relationship with them.

I think this is common to both men and women.

So, if you don’t feel sexual desire, do you not like the person?

Sexual desire is important.

It is probably the most necessary desire in a relationship.

However, there are two types of it.

Explosive, animalistic, sexual desire, and

I think there is the sexual desire that comes from trust and security.

The former is explosive and can last for a long time, but it’s the one that definitely cools down. (This is what most relationships are about.)

The latter is the one that doesn’t feel anything in the beginning, so it gets confused without sexual desire, and doesn’t work out in many cases, but if their communicating is well and the relationship continues without sex, it’s the one that lasts a long time because you like the person and not just their looks and desires.

I don’t think there’s anything good or bad about either.

Honestly, I don’t care either way about the outcome, whether it works or not. because of it is what is it.

However, I thought that a relationship that doesn’t start with only sexual desire is very valuable and if such a person appears, you should cherish it.

No matter how it turns out, your actions can change the relationship you have with that person.

So whether it’s a good outcome or a bad outcome.

You are doing everything right.

Be confident in what you have done.

We make a series of choices, and there is no such thing as a wrong choice.

It’s better to make a choice than not to make a choice, and it’s better to get results.

Challenge yourself, and even if the results are not good, try to enjoy the change.

Enjoy the growth.

The most important brain training is to end up with a result that you are happy with.

What I’m trying to say is,

It’s not about your sexuality or your love life.

It’s the choices you make that change the situation.

So I made another mistake…

Why can’t I do better?

Rather than thinking like, “I made a mistake again,” “Why can’t I do better,” “I could have done better,” “I should have done better,” etc., training your brain to affirm yourself and live happily in the present moment will change your life.

//// What to do when you feel like your actions and choices are mistakes ////

I made a choice and took action, but it didn’t work out.

And that’s okay.

It has to be.

Only by accepting it can we train ourselves to believe in ourselves, which is necessary for being yourself.

Don’t be ashamed of what you’ve done, but look forward to it.

That’s it.

The choices that we have made are choices that we have made in order to know ourselves, and they will lead us to a place where we can be happy no matter which way we turn.

When I think that way, you are much less likely to deny yourself in any situation.

I am sure that you will have a peaceful day too.

Zen Jin