I’ve just been recently rejected.

But, I’m fine.

Sometimes, I can’t deny the feeling of emptiness that comes over me every now and then.

But each time, I take a breath.

All I did the thing, good or bad, was to live honestly with myself.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

When I used to be unsure of myself and scared of the outcome, I used to play games with myself, forcing myself to take my time and waiting until the other person’s feelings were inclined toward me, but I don’t need to do that anymore.

I don’t know when I’m going to die, and that goes for all living things.

So, I don’t know how long the person I told my feelings to will be in this world.

When I used to think about the question, “If my life were to end in 365 days, what would I want to do? I asked myself this question.

I came to the conclusion that I would like to live my life by doing as little as possible of the things I dislike.

One of them is that I don’t want to spend my days not being honest with myself.

//// Be honest with Yourself////

If I die today and tomorrow never comes,

And I don’t know when is that comes.

I want to be honest with myself.

I want to live in the present moment.

I want to live in the moment and spend time with the people around me who are important to me, being honest with my feelings in the moment.

By doing so, I will be able to the ​life will be fulfilled every day.

All things fall apart if the timing and balance are not right.

Things that used to be good can suddenly lose their shape or break down.

What was good today can be bad tomorrow.

So I think it’s good to just do what you want to do now.

A life of being scared and doing nothing is not fun.

But I am able to take risks because I learned how to keep my mental state relaxed.

I don’t feel like I’m in the depths of despair when I make a big mistake or get my heart broken like I used to.

There are three key that,

Concentrate on your breathing.

Strengthen your mental strength through muscle training.

Read books to learn how to control my emotion.

So, you are able to reduce your thoughts such as negativity, anxiety, sadness, regret that come out of nowhere.

The expectation of the others is really strong and cannot avoid sometimes.

It’s like an ego thing.

But it’s not a bad thing.

To do that, you have to try not to impose your ego on those around you or on the others.

If we can listen to and respect the opinions of others after we have expressed our own opinions, the ego itself will not become our enemy.

The ego is not our enemy if we can listen to and respect the opinions of others.

Especially in Japanese society, and we cannot say “no” in the group life.

I feel that ego in Japan is seen as the enemy.

But If someone tells me that I am only thinking about myself and not about others, it also means that you do not respect my opinion.

So….

I would like to keep an attitude (mentality) that allows both of us to express our opinions to each other and respect them.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

Let’s live honestly with ourselves.

Zen Jin