On a Saturday night, I went to a bar that I don’t familiar with them.
The bar was packed with people.
In American bars, the first obstacle is usually communicating with the bartender for everyone.
When they are in busy working and don’t take orders well.
However, American people don’t raise their hands or call out “excuse me” or anything like that. (Sometimes can’t wait,,.)
That day, I am the only Japanese in the bar. I try not to think about race, but it’s not easy here in the U.S. I’m also a little overwhelmed.
I feel like I’m an unnecessary person, especially if I came to the bar the first time.
The other people who were not familiar with the place were probably just as nervous as I was.
I was able to notice this by talking to the people next to me who were waiting for their first orders. By taking action, I was able to change the bad habit of underestimating myself and my existence.
Added to that, I felt like I had a fear for some reason.
Before I entered the bar, there were two large men.
They seemed stronger than me.
At that moment, I felt a little less confident in myself. So, I felt nervous at the bar counter.
I started the workout and gradually gained confidence, but the Americans were still even bigger than me.
Then I thought to myself, “What am I afraid of?
No matter who you are.
I think everyone gets nervous when they are in a new place, a popular bar that they are not used to go, or a restaurant that seems a bit expensive and too gorgeous.
But why do I get nervous?
I think it’s because I don’t feel like I belong there.
But why do you think you are out of place?
I think it’s because I am afraid of embarrassing myself.
Why do I hate being embarrassed?
Oh, I care about my pride too much!
Whenever I do, I take a breath and think, “I could die tomorrow.”
I don’t give a fuck if we get into a fight with two big men.
I don’t give a fuck if the bartender doesn’t come to take my order at all.
There is no need to be nervous, frightened, or waste your time thinking that you are an unnecessary person in a restaurant.
Well, let’s just have fun.
I change my mind.
The reason why I am afraid of shame is because of narcissism (I think there was a narcissist in me).
I am afraid that I will be treated a bad way by someone.
Because If people have a big narcissism, they expect a lot from others and they are frustrated when they do not get the response that they want.
In any situation, when this comes up, we are defensive, insecure.
But people don’t always respond the way I want, and I have to admit that to myself.
So don’t be afraid to enjoy the moment with any place that I go to, and don’t let it bother. (But it’s different if you get drunk and get involved. I did that once, and I’m very sorry about it. never do it again)
Enjoy the moment, trying to create a comfortable space for yourself and others.
This is a technique that can be used no matter how nervous or frightened you are.
Whenever you feel anxious about something, take a deep breath.
Think about what you’re scared of.
It’s just a matter of knowing that it’s nothing more anything.
Oh, it’s no big deal.
Let’s just enjoy the fear like it’s a ghost house.
If we can do that, we will be invincible.