A Japanese man who thinks what is masculinity and women are currently looking for?
In modern times.
I have learned that masculine and feminine are becoming discriminatory terms in Japan.
Like, I, a Japanese man who thinks what is masculinity and women are currently looking for?
The times have changed very quickly, so our society has changed too.
But what if a world without masculinity and femininity, and would it be a world where only “being oneself” is correct.
Then, is there really no need to be masculine for men?
If “difference” does not need to be defined in this modern society, what kind of “man” would the women prefer?
I am a he/him, and I would like to think about masculinity and whether or not it is acceptable to lose it.
This article is about:
- Born male but struggling with masculinity.
- If you were born a man but you think you have feminine side.
- Those who were born male, but want to know what kind of manhood women are looking for.
I would like to write this article for those who want to know what kind of man they are looking for and how the men’s side works for our modern society.
First of all I have some examples here with a bit long ago Japanese’s society ;
Basically, a man is usually teach or conditioning from friends or parents that way by being born for being a man.
But in fact, lately, some boys have a different sense.
And, they actually like doing weird.
I mean it is not weird at all, if they are not interesting of a girl in their puberty, or not into a play such as soccer, baseball, basketball, and football.
Rather than they enjoy playing a videogame, no-communication with a girl, and no-motivation to become a strong guy such a thing.
They are okay to housework a lots (for example, cooking, cleaning) more than playing outside.
I study about feminism.
And I understand that men and women nowadays are a bit different situation now, so I am not saying that all women have to take care of housework more than men.
But, I am taking about how a man changing and that is it really okay or we are man can be seen a bit weak.
So then, this is what is generally said in society is that those boys are weird in comparison to the past in the 1990s of a man who had to be strong.
And a simple example, football means things like “masculine” and playing housework is feminine from the 1990s perspective, I mentioned.
Here is an example of the straggling to be a boy in Japan.
There are probably boys who read more Shoujo(少女 girls) manga than Shonen(少年 boys) jump manga, but they don’t talk to their friends about it.
When I was a child,
I watched anime both like “Dragon Ball” and “Sailor Moon.”
So, I must have been what is called an “have a feminine side” boy in the eyes of society at the time.
It was a bit struggle.
Because, I like both but hiding about it from everyone except my closest friends.
Honestly, it was a shame or like self-doubt being a man if I say “I like Sailor Moon.”
But like, I used to borrow a monthly magazine called Shoujo manga “Ribbon” from my young sister and I loved to read it.
In fact, if a newborn baby is born as a boy but raised as a girl, it is not surprising that it would be a girl.
That is certainly true.
When I was a child, it was common for me not to cry because I was a boy.
Boys were somehow made to feel like losers if they did not grow up strong.
And when I entered the workforce, “masculinity” became even more demanding than when I was a child.
I felt this in the famous Japanese TV show “Terrace House.”
In “Terrace House” (a TV program in which men and women who do not know each other share a room), I often felt that the women often pointed out the way the men think about their work.
And there are scenes that often show glimpses of what society calls “masculinity,” and I watched the show thinking that the “emotional” side of men tended to be ignored.
I felt as if men were being told that they must be able to work from the perspective of society.
This has been the case for a long time.
When women also work more and earn more than men.
And they are not interested in low-income men such as students and freelancers, and it can be assumed that they must be looking for classic “a masculinity guy.“
I was surprised to hear the exact opposite reactions that people as uses the word in a derogatory and discriminatory way even they want to accept “identity,” like men and women.
It sounds like they are trying to not discriminate against all genders, but yet nothing has changed in society for real.
This makes life difficult for all women, all men, and all genders.
My point is:
No one really wants to get hurt, but everyone is too concerned about others and judging others without wanting to know themselves who they are.
If there was a man who was deeply hurt when the female side said he was gross or something, this would seem to be pity and hurtful to the male side, but in fact it is both, and the female side is a really pitiful person who said to that man without understanding who she herself is, just because she is unaware of what did she to the other human beings.
That means she is a poor girl.
What I would like to say to the men who have been subjected to such comments is that women like them (discriminatory comments) are people who do not understand the true nature of men.
You don’t need to worry about people who don’t understand the nature of science and say something about you.
Just don’t give a fuck about it.
If you think it bothers and hurts when they inevitably say it, then please think objectively about what you think of the person who uttered these words: “Unmanly,” “lifeless,” “gross.”
Isn’t the kind of personality a woman that would say those words already very very sick right? This can see a problem of her, not you.
If people don’t have respect for others, their words have no meanings.
If you know how poor the other person’s heart is, you will think, “Oh, this woman doesn’t know anything about herself or what she’s doing,” and just leave it alone.
But I know men have pride.
It is mentally tough when it is against.
However, I want them to be strong and not be defeated by such people.
So, to train mental strength like; The quickest way to raise testosterone is to raise your self-confidence.
I have found that sometimes I couldn’t be like a man in my past relationships, and I have learned that my hormones are affecting me, and also affecting my partner too.
I learned this from a book I recently read, “Beyond Mars and Venus“, written by John Gray, which is about so-called love relationships.
The book explains that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and have completely different identities from each other, so that they are “different on a cosmic scale.”
In the book, what we can learn is exactly what it means to be masculine and feminine.
It is a very good book that can be considered from a scientific and medical point of view, so I would like to recommend that you read it.
One of my realizing in the book is that:
The story about the balance between testosterone, the male hormone, and estrogen, the female hormone, made a lot of sense to me.
I am a man, but I am also a man with a feminine side I have, so I could understand why all of my recent relationships did not work out by comparing them to the balance between my partner and me.
The reason why I mentioned the book is because I think it is necessary knowledge now that transgender, gay, bisexual, and other various genders and identities have emerged on both men’s and women’s sides.
The reason is that scientifically, the differences between men and women are obvious.
Men are more independent by nature, and women are more social lovers.
This fact is true no matter how they have been brought up since childhood.
I believe it is masculinity and femininity.
Creating an environment where women can live like women also needs to understand “masculinity” that is men. And it will be vice versa.
Men and women are born with different hormonal balances and have completely different ways of thinking.
Once we know this, we realize that when we think about the so-called “masculine” and “feminine,” which are currently problematic.
We need to use them in a positive sense, not in a discriminatory term, as they should be.
Rather than being used in a way that excludes one another, “identity” should be used in a way that respects the differences between people.
And then, without denying the gender that each of us has individually.
Only then should we decide how we should be with each other.
The fact is that the lack of standards that can actually serve as a foundation for this has led to an imbalance, which is now worsening the birthrate (Japan is for sure, but now this problem with all over the world too).
If the female side says to a man is gross, then the man will lose to feel their original attraction to the women (of course), and if the male side is hurt by that words, then they will not show the true strengths of men, and women will never like the men.
By the way, about being a man, this is not something that is forced upon them. they always have a choice for themselves.
However, men need to know what it means to be a man scientifically, and then live their lives in their own way.
And to know the real psychology behind women’s accusations.
It also means that you will know they are looking for a man.
While there are some differences in degree and balance from person to person, masculinity can definitely heal the core of a woman’s natural needs.
When this is not done, women will blame men.
Men can be made to care less by understanding their own nature and reinforcing the independence that is inherently ours. Understanding the difference in hormone levels of testosterone(men) and estrogen(women) will show that women want from the male side for their natural strength and it can be healing for them.
Modern critical opinions may actually be a kind of cry in the deep their mind from the female side.
That is why we need to learn with each other and support each other.
We should study each other and face this issue positively so that we can support each other.
I hope this article will be good for men and women and all genders.
Thank you for reading.