it’s very hot every day lately.

It must be hard to get out of the house during these times of the year, isn’t it?

 

I don’t like air conditioners very much and let nature take its course, sleeping when it gets cool and waking up when it gets hot, so there are many times when I can’t get up early in the morning.

Just lazy around.

And recently I have come to think that this is also okay.

Yeah, It is summer.

 

I’m glad that I’m an adult.

I have more control over my life.

That’s the greatest thing ever.

 

I like to plan all my own birthdays and treat my friends who come to visit me at home to Japanese hot pot meals and my favorite Niigata sake. While I would like someone else to do something for me, I truly believe that doing it myself suits my nature.

However, as I grow year by year, I always feel a sense of tension on my birthday.

Such as, Do I feel a sense of responsibility to do something for my birthday?

I don’t want to have a lonely birthday. It is scary and hard to be alone. I am hoping that my friends will do something for me, but it feels bad to ask them to do something for me, and it is embarrassing to ask them from my side to celebrate with me in the first place.

 

In this way, I think there are times when “birthdays” become stressful as mature human beings. I mean that if you think too much about another’s.

When I was a child, it seemed natural to ask my parents, family, and friends to celebrate my birthday. Pretty easy right? Because it is my birthday! However, as we grow older a bit, the places we live and the relationships we have with others change rapidly, and I don’t know what to do, but it’s my birthday, but it’s like shame.

So I would like to write about this article for:

• For those who do not have the same environment as in the past
• For those who have a difficult birthday month alone every year
• For those who want their friends to celebrate with them but find it difficult to say so.

 

First of all, let’s think together about the causes of stress.

Why is it so hard?

Why do I feel lonely on my birthday?

Why do I want my friends to do something for me or celebrate me?

Why don’t I want to be alone on this day?

 

In my case plus my experiences,

I always celebrated my birthday with my family, or sometimes with my girlfriend who was with me at the time. and it was kind of a natural way for them to do so.

It was what I called a “My Day.”

So, I could get all kinds of things, and say whatever I wanted. Yes, so I was never alone that day. However, my environment changed after I moved to Tokyo, and I had to celebrate my birthday on my own more and more often because sometimes I didn’t have a girlfriend and sometimes my schedule didn’t match up with my friends either.

At that time, I felt stressed about my birthday. It was not that I could not spend the day alone, but I felt lonely and it was hard for me.

 

At that time, I realized that I subconsciously expected too much from others.

I was thinking, “It’s my birthday, so this is how it should be.”

It’s my birthday, so I should do this or that,” or “It’s automatically come for me to have a celebration.

I found that I had more “greed” in me than on a normal day.

It could be called narcissism.

I have the greatest desire for attention to myself.

 

This desire for self-approval is something that everyone has and no one has zero of it.

But for our own wellbeing, we need to control it.

 

The reason you don’t want to be bitter, lonely, and alone is because;

The need for self-approval is higher than usual.

 

This is a condition that is usually controllable, but is not.

Once you know the cause of the problem, you can control it by yourself. You can change what your brain is thinking all the time, and you can enjoy the pain.

 

For example, if the thought is, “It’s hard to be alone on my birthday.” Then, if it is;

You need to increase your self-esteem in order to suppress your need for approval.

 

Simply put, you need to do something about it.

 

If you are afraid or have a hard time being alone, then start by celebrating your birthday yourself.

If no one is there, don’t worry. Just do it yourself. Other people don’t matter.

You can go on a trip by yourself, you can plan a birthday party (it doesn’t matter if no one comes, because you want to), you can make it a day to be moved by watching your favorite movie or anime with all your heart.

 

However, it is important not to feel even lonelier after watching the movie. The way to avoid this is to do what you really, truly want to do that day.

This is essential.

 

Because if you superficially want to do this (conscious), your subconscious (unconscious) will deny it later.

So, I’ll say it one more time.

Do what you really want to do now. Please think about that.

 

Living with this feeling of yourself on a daily basis will make you enjoy everyday, not just only your birthday. That is why you will realize that there is not that much difference between birthdays and days.

By living each day thinking about what you want to do right now, your birthday and that month will surely not be as painful as it could be.

 

Living every day doing what you really want to do will definitely raise your self-esteem.

This is also a good approach for people who feel that they are doing nothing.

Because most of these people don’t know what they want to do. So, later on, they sometimes weren’t fun. For example, He or she wanted to go to Disneyland, but my friends, they didn’t want to go to Disneyland, so they decided to go to an amusement park just to fit in with other people and then later felt disappointed.

I used to often go along with others and later feel empty.

 

The solution to this problem, too, is to always be honest with yourself.

It is not an easy thing to do, but you will not regret it.

 

Especially on your birthday, it is your special day.

So, first of all, be honest about your feelings.

Whenever you have that painful feeling, ask yourself, “What do I really want to do now? and always make the best choice. That painful feeling will tell you what you really want to be.

After that, you just have to be honest and act on your own.

That’s all there is to it.

 

In summary:

The reason why you feel pain and fear of being alone on your birthday is because;

• Your need for self-approval is higher than usual.

The solution is to;

• Raise your self-esteem.
• Be honest about how you feel and act in the way you want to be.

 

The solution is to be honest about how you feel and to act the way you want to act;

It is when you feel anxious or scared that you can see the person you really want to be.

 

When you are in those feelings, it may be difficult to take the first step.

I think that is fine.

That is who you are now, too.

 

Eventually, if you want to hold your own birthday party, you can do it.

Wouldn’t it be great to travel abroad by yourself? It will be awesome for sure.

You can even decide to make it a day to heal yourself and laze around at home all day long.

You can make it a day to entertain those who usually take care of you.

 

All in all, it’s a good day to acknowledge yourself and take care of yourself.

 

Only when you can do that, can you make the people around you happy.

 

You are always the star of your life.

Please enjoy your birthday in your own way.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

ZenJin