This is a blog that It’s been a while.

Recently, I’ve been reading new books and learning about communication.

I used to think that I was good at communication when was in high school to I came to the U.S.

But after I came to the U.S., I was not able to communicate well and I lost my confidence.

I mean, when I was in Japan, I lived my life by adapting to people as much as possible, so I didn’t say unnecessary things, and I didn’t have conflicts or offend people.

Even these days, my e-mail and phone communication are better than before, but there are still times when I say unnecessary things.

That’s just who I am, so I can’t help it sometimes.

So, I’ve started reading a book on communication.

I’ve only just started reading it, but I’d like to recommend it to you.

It’s called “Nonviolent Communication” and the author is Marshall B. Rosenberg.

I am still at the beginning of the reading,

Don’t judge or reject what people say or act, but observe their behavior.

Pay attention to how the behavior makes you feel about it.

Then think about what you need to do.

Then, I would tell the person what I had noticed and make suggestions.

//// Conversation Techniques with compassionating////

I’m always saying things I don’t mean to say.

In the beginning, the most important thing is to observe and think about the other person.

But if you cannot communicate your feelings to others, you cannot communicate with them and you too.

I think this is a good idea for people like me, who tend to say what they want to say, even though it is unnecessary.

So,

If you’re going to say something, say it at the end, not at the beginning.

I think this will help alleviate the problem a little.

By the way, 90% of my unnecessary comments are silly jokes.

I try not to say anything that would deny the human rights of the other person’s character, how they look, gender, skin color, etc.

I keep this in my mind all the time.

I think that if you keep this in mind, you can have a conversation without harming others to some extent.

After that, I think it’s important to think calmly about what I think.

Calmly is important.

I would like to keep this in mind and try to enjoy the conversation.

For example, in a recent communication.

I was boxing at the gym, and a guy with a mitt started talking to me, and I declined to train with him because I didn’t have much time left.

Afterward, I felt strangely awkward, and I wondered if I hadn’t said it right.

Did I speak badly?

I wondered if I had said it wrong.

I have a tendency to worry about even the smallest things.

I also realized that I was avoiding interaction as much as possible.

I don’t give a fuck with anything, or I always tell my brain to take it easy, but it doesn’t work.

If I were to apply this conversation here…

I denied and rejected the other person from the beginning.

I told him like “I’m sorry, I don’t have time right now. Let’s do it another time”. without thinking.

Instead, maybe I need to say to him like “Thanks for the invitation to hit the mitt. I’m interested, but I have to leave now, so let’s do it when we have time”. sounds much better.

I thought I needed to listen to him a little more and then give him an answer.

And, I also tend to speak up without thinking.

I would like to keep this in mind in my conversations.

Happy Halloween 🙂

ZenJin